DIE DIE MUST TRY

Okay, folks, time to move away from the mountain. At least for now. Why? Because, there is going to be a volcanic eruption, followed by an earthquake of at least 7.7 on the Richter Scale, followed by a tsunami of a magnitude never seen so far.

You see, I have acquired this uncanny ability to  predict with pin-point accuracy when a volcanic eruption is going to take place.  My last prediction was so accurate, from the exact magnitude to the exact timing, that the World Meteorological Society invited me to speak at their World Earthquake Day forum and present a paper on my methodology. Of course  I declined. I didn't have the heart to tell them that my uncanny ability to predict was confined to only one mountain. One single mountain. I also didn't want to have to show them evidence of what I went through to pick up this skill. No, I cannot do that. The physical scars are not for show. And the emotional scars - just let me suffer alone. If any of you folks hear howling sounds when the moon is full, just think of me and pray fervently. Arigato.

So let us turn our attention to another subject - my role as a runner and promoter for Singapore Pools. They say hindsight is vision 20/20. But alas, hindsight couldn't tell me how I managed to juggle my twin roles - as an employee working for my ex-employer and as a free-lance runner/promoter for Singapore Pools. That I survived in my full time employment till retirement time was, in itself, a miracle. I think I spent more time on one of the two - no prize for guessing which was the one that consumed more of my efforts.  My confessions, in this and subsequent postings, will be very therapeutic for my emotional health.

It all started when I was 8. My mum was constantly flipping through her "numerical dictionary". What's that? That, my friends, is a booklet which allows you to translate anything you see, in real life or in your dreams, into four numerical digits for you to punt on the 4D lottery.  We jokingly referred to mum's numerical dictionary as her bible but I will refrain from doing that now. Not in this blog, otherwise MT will accuse me of blasphemy!

And that dictionary was mum's only bequest to this son of hers when she passed away. I used that booklet faithfully until the day I got married. I put it away in cold storage, together with a set of encyclopedia. Why? Because my mother-in-law knows everything.  From numbers to nuclear science. Any topic. You name it, she knows it.

Once I saw a car turned turtle on the road. Don't know what happened to the driver - it doesn't matter. What mattered was the car registration number. But the darned registration plates, both front and back, was covered up. On purpose. The traffic police seems to enjoy doing this to folks like me. Sadistic, I must say. Anyway, I called my mother-in-law (hereinafter, in this and all subsequent postings, referred to as "MIL" aka Might Mouth or MM, no disrespect to our former Minister Mentor intended).  As soon as she picked up the phone, I shouted "Mighty Mouth, what is the number for turtle?" And she replied quite sweetly "Turtle is 5764, green turtle is 0901 and sea turtle 0705. Anything else?" Without even thanking her, I hung up the phone. Okay, okay, that was not how the call took place. It went the following way actually....

"Mother, can you please tell me what is the number for turtle?" She was in a good mood because she didn't bang down the phone as soon as she heard my voice. Instead she screamed "Turtle 5764 la. Green turtle 0901. Sea turtle 0705. And stop bothering me." Then only did she bang down the phone. I didn't even have the chance to thank her. But honestly, she is a real genius. Don't you agree? She should have studied nuclear science.

Anyway, I didn't have the budget to buy the numbers for all three types of turtles. Decided to put $5 big $5 small on 5764 and threw caution to the wind on the other two.  No turtle turned up on the results of that Wednesday draw, not 5764, not the green turtle, not the sea turtle. First prize was 6975.

When I reached home, I asked MM what 6975 was. And she replied, with a wicked smile on her face "Tortoise!" I didn't eat my dinner and went straight to the room and cried myself to sleep.

So, my friends, tell me, pray tell me, should the correct English phrase be "turned turtle" or "turned tortoise"?

And yes, in spite of such setbacks, I have not given up. Die die must try. Again and again and again.

And who knows? One day, I am going to strike the top three prizes with just one set of numbers. You don't think that is possible. That the winning numbers for the First Prize, Second Prize and Third Prize was exactly the same? You go and ask AGL. But I will save that for the next posting.