We all know when a mother's love for her child starts. But we can never know when it ends...........?
Yes, ponder over this and you will feel the very pain she felt; ponder a little bit more and you will feel the very same hopelessness she went through after asking herself the myriads of "what if's". But one thing you will not be able to feel no matter how long you ponder is her yearnings to relive the 29 years and 9 days of their lives together as mother and son. For her reminiscences are sacred and they bear witness to the strongest of bonds between this mother and her child.
So very sadly, this time round, we, a community of current and former employees from the same company were gathered together once again at a wake, this time because one amongst us has lost a son, a promising young man who had just turned 29. This obviously very popular young man was described in various online forums and websites which mushroomed shortly after his passing, as an Ex-Lion who earned two caps for Singapore, as one of the country's promising footballer and a determined fighter. We were gathered at the wake to convey condolences and to demonstrate comradeship. And in conveying our condolences and in demonstrating comradeship, we hope to give strength to the bereaved family. And let them know they are not alone.
Personally, I do not know this young man, not at all. Heard his name mentioned a few times by his mum, in a voice bursting with pride. Once his mum brought a copy of CLEO to the office. In that edition, he was featured as one of the most eligible bachelors in Singapore, a feat which was sure to make the girls swoon. And on that day, I recall watching with amusement as my female colleagues started gathering around the mum, clamoring for a look at his photo.
But no, I do not know this young man. However, if his mum's character is anything to go by, it would mean that many have missed out on a loyal and steadfast friendship with a dependable young man who was a pillar of strength to the people around him. And I know this for a fact because his mum was amongst the first in the office with whom I shared the news of my diagnosis as a "P". I recall very vividly that her words of consolation and encouragement were accompanied by tears; and on my part, I accepted those kind words with a pair of equally wet eyes. Thank you again, SD.
As a father of three young adults, it wasn't that difficult for me to empathize with the parents of this young man. It wasn't difficult to be gripped by the same fears which his parents must have faced over the last twelve months of his life. And it certainly wasn't difficult to think about how I would cope in a similar situation. Or if I could even cope at all.
Together with MT, I went to the Mandai Crematorium to attend the cremation ceremony. The bereaved family's pain and anguish were laid bare for all to see. And in seeing such pain and such anguish, I learned that we must love our loved ones more, we must love our loved ones now and we must let our loved ones know we love them.
So, wither a mother's love? Perpetuity can be the only answer.
Rest In Peace, Adrian Dhanaraj
